All good stories begin , in part, with another story. Naturally, since this is one of the greatest
stories ever told, it will begin at the beginning of a very different story.
When I tell people that the birth of my first wonderful
daughter, Lillie, took place in a hospital with the administration of massive
amounts of Pitocin (which I fondly refer to as “the drug of demons”) but no
sweet relief from an epidural, they often look at me as though I have sprouted
another head. I often feel as though I
have two heads, a spiky tail, or a third eye at the very least, but that
really has nothing to do with this particular story. Oh, I could fill a gorge with the number of
times I have said “If I only knew then what I know now!” I took that Pitocin 5
years ago with the conviction that my baby needed to arrive immediately since
my water had broken only hours before. I
struggled to retain consciousness throughout the laborious process of bringing
Lillie into this world in a haze of Pitocin induced pain. But, as I’m sure you can guess, that baby DID
come and I DID survive. I felt certain
that if I EVER decided to have another baby that I could do it “the old
fashioned way” as long as no one even uttered the word “Pitocin.” Cue mental
imagery of a Viking Woman with long flowing braids, wearing an ornate
breastplate posing fearlessly atop a snow-capped mountain.
Fast forward through several years of expounding upon the
merits of only having one child, a mind-altering late night viewing of The
Business of Being Born, a move to Austin, a complete change in parenting
ideologies, tons of research, and a
dogged determination to learn from my mistakes.
Now you can imagine how I arrived at the doorstep of The World’s Most
Majestic Midwife, Heather Hilton. And,
oh how serendipitous was this meeting!
It was the perfect pairing of midwife to mother, of sass to crass, and
of a strong mutual faith in the extraordinary abilities of the female body to
perform miraculous acts. The decision to
have Heather as my guide through this epic journey of pregnancy and childbirth
would prove to be the greatest possible choice for me and my little
family.
So here is where I would bore you with the details of the
pregnancy, with the growth rate of the baby, with the flowery description of
the first time we heard her heart beating or the pink frosting filled cupcakes
we ate at the gender reveal party. But
instead I will skip right to the good stuff!
At 30 weeks gestational diabetes, a rude and unwelcome interloper,
threatened to rain all over our natural birth parade. With the expert guidance of my amazing
midwife and the patience of my saintly husband we were able to find the perfect
combination of diet, cinnamon, and chromium to neutralize my glucose numbers. It felt like I was heading off to battle
every day, equipped to slay dragons with my shield and armor of supplements and
carb-free snacks. I ate meat with a side
of meat. I ate enough eggs to make any
body builder blush. And much to the consternation of some nay-sayers (you know
who you are, Cinderella client seeking midwives) my diabetic, well upholstered
body delivered me to 39 weeks gestation.
And this is where it gets really good! While chatting with my husband and preparing
for bed on April 3, I noticed a minute trickle begin to ease its way down my
thigh. I immediately began to panic, thinking that I had failed to properly
cleanse myself after one of my three hundred trips to the toilet that
evening. Then the trickle became a drip
and all of a sudden I was standing on the bathroom rug leaking amniotic fluid
all over the chocolate brown shag!
Rapture for rupture! My water had
broken!!! This was it! I could feel it. I just KNEW that the baby would be making her
debut that night. I called Heather
immediately and Lee ran out for some last minute supplies…maxi pads and
pistachio muffins, of course. When I
awoke later that night to an achy cramping sensation I just KNEW it was the
beginning of labor. I watched. I waited. Nada. Less than Nada, actually. Zip. Zilch.
I couldn’t even use my shiny new contraction app. Throughout the day I
charted what seemed like an endless supply of crampy clusters…or as I like to
call them: contraction teasers. Each
time I felt a particularly strong sensation I would whip out the iPhone and
time it. I was surprised the app didn’t come with a little laughter feature or
chiding librarian voice telling me to get a grip and wait for the real
deal. But Warrior Queens are rarely
patient, so when Heather suggested acupuncture on April 5 after 2 days of
leaking fluid and merciless contraction teasers, I was all over it. Drs. Allie and David of Goodwin Chiropractic
and Acupuncture kindly rearranged their schedules to accommodate my eagerness,
and I walked out of their clinic at 1:30 pm feeling like a new woman. Well, as new as one can feel carrying around
20 extra pounds and a belly the size and shape of an inflatable swim ring.
We went about our business and ate a delicious feast at
Logan’s Roadhouse with my husband’s parents.
I began to feel nauseous and extra crampy towards the end of dinner, so
we headed to my sister’s house where she prepared a soothing foot bath and
massage. When I began to have trouble
talking through the “contraction teasers” I realized that perhaps now would be
a good time to put that iPhone app to the test.
Sure enough, my contractions had begun to pick up speed and
intensity. This was actually it! I KNEW
it. For real this time. No seriously, I
was finally in active labor! We headed
home for a shower and to gather our wits and birth accoutrement. The car ride from my sister’s house was less
than pleasant and the contractions were letting me know that they weren’t
messing around this time. I called
Heather and we agreed to meet at the birth center at 10 pm. By the time 9:30 rolled around I was having
visions of Lee delivering the baby in the car on the shoulder of I-35 while
Lillie cheered us on from her car seat perch.
Fortunately for all involved, we made it to the birth center in one
piece. My mother, sister, Heather and
Sandra were all waiting to usher us into what would prove to be the most
ethereal experience of my life.
As the contractions escalated I found myself running towards
the intensity as if running into waves crashing into the shoreline. Every breath, every movement was focused on
propelling myself and my body headlong into wave after wave. I breathed deeply, imagining my breath
forming a big, glittering letter J. If I
lost focus for a moment and began to drift towards the surface, Heather seemed
to know and found the exact words to bring me back down . My sister and my husband provided constant,
encouraging support. Lillie drifted in
and out of the room, lovingly shepherded by my mother acting as her own
personal doula.
As transition approached I found my armor slipping away as I
struggled to find a more comfortable position to meet the intense waves that
mercilessly crashed into me. As if
divine intervention nudged her, Heather encouraged me into the birthing pool. My body clumsily lumbered over the side of
the inflatable tub, but as I sank into the water I was certain that nothing
ever had, nor ever would, feel as heavenly as the warm soothing water as it
swirled around my aching, swollen belly. I could have been in the water for a
minute or an eternity. To this day I
cannot explain the way time simply melts away.
I was all sensation, all focus, all deep inside my own body. I envisioned Iris and I rocking together in
the waves of a giant, dark cerulean sea.
It was just she and I, pushing towards each other in the water. And then, miraculously, mystically, she was
there. With one final herculean effort
she burst free and floated into Heather’s loving hands. Just before 1 am on April 6, 2012. I watched as Heather lifted her to the
surface of the water, all tiny and plump, into my shaking arms. Words simply cannot convey the magic in that
moment. Seeing my husband’s face as he
first laid eyes on his baby girl, watching my sister’s glistening eyes behold
the miracle, and calling out to Lillie to run quickly and meet her new
sister. It was a blur of triumph, joy,
and love beyond measure. Iris came out
tasting the world with her tiny tongue darting in and out of her little rosebud
shaped lips. Her thick hair formed a
copper colored halo around her perfect little head. The world just stopped for a moment as
everyone in the room beheld the beauty and wonder of this pristine little
person.
Then like a flash, Lillie was cutting the chord and we were
swept into a bustle of activity to prepare us for nursing and resting. I couldn’t tell you what happened next if I
tried. All I can say is that Iris and I
were surrounded by love just as we had been surrounded by water only moments
before. I held her close and felt her
sweet breath on my lips. We had done it
together, my little warrior princess and I.
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